CINNAMONS 4TH OPEN HEART SURGERY

I cannot believe this much time has passed and I have not written anything! Wow! I keep thinking I need to get on every night and write a little or even every Sunday and it never happens. Soooo much has happened!

I guess the biggest thing is that Cinnamon went in for open heart surgery again. It was quite an ordeal and I was completely stressed out. I dont think I ate anything for 2 months or so. I have never been so NOT hungry in my whole life. Poor Cim went through so much. It is amazing what the human body can withstand when it has to... and the spirit! After she finally came home she had to go back in because she had fluid on her lungs... actually they could not drain it with a regular tube because they said it was thick like tapioca. Thus began a series of many surgeries. They tried one tube... decided it was not big enough. Then put two more larger tubes in. Then they were not working so she had to go and have surgery to clear out the stuff which is supposed to be an extremely painful surgery. This does not even count the first few surgeries she had the first time she was down there... first there was the open heart and then a series of surgeries to put a pace maker in. Anyway, that made a long story short but I just wanted to say how much I learn from Cim every time she goes in for surgery. Of course she doesn't have much choice to go in but the way she goes in is amazing. She is so stoic and strong that she doesn't want anyone to see how scared she is. So with a mixture of laughter and smiles she goes in covering up her fear and pain. The nurses say they have never seen anyone so happy to head into surgery but the do not know the girl beneath the facade. She knows dang well what she is headed into and does everything in her power to try and make us think she is okay with it... but you know she isn't. With a kiss and a hug we send her off smiling (with tears just below the surface) and the next time we see her she is hooked up to every tube imaginable with bandages over her chest to cover up the place they cut open to miraculously fix her sweet heart. She is in severe pain but still tries to be funny and do a little dance with her arms while the nurses are telling her she needs to hold still. It is almost more agonizing to see her pretend to be happy than to have her just let go and give in. What a trooper! Whenever I do something hard in life I tell myself... "look what Cim can do.. you can do this simple thing". She is really an inspiration to me. It blows me away sometimes how much I love that little Frodo! I don't know what I would ever do without her. Photo above: Cim getting her two chest tubes out. They were a foot into her lungs... it was purely shocking to watch them come out.

The second time in the hospital was a little better than the first because she actually started to get better. There were the times I could make her giggle but at the same time it hurt her to giggle so in between her giggles she would say "mom... giggle giggle... mom" and hold her chest. It was so funny. Like mom was supposed to help her to not giggle. One time we had just had with being at the hospital. There were some craft supplies sitting around for Cim to use if she wanted to. The craft she was going to make next was a butterfly... so suddenly my uncontrollable craziness took a hold of me and I stuck the pipe cleaner antennas in my hair and put stickers all over my face. I put on the wings and started dancing around the hospital room singing and flapping. Cim and mom were laughing so hard the nurses were wondering what was going on. I think we were truly nuts at that point but it was so wonderful to see Cim coming back to being her old self. One of my favorite sounds in the world is Cim's uncontrollable and contagious laugh. Later I heard from them that after they got home they were still having laughs about it. What a fun memory of a terrible place! :) That made me happy to know they were still laughing about it. I mean if you are gonna make a fool of yourself do a good job... one that people can remember!

Cim is at home now doing really good. This Thanksgiving I was so happy to spend time with her. She could have so easily not been there with us. Today is her birthday and on Sunday we are throwing a party for her. She loves her birthday and told one of the nurses in the hospital that her favorite part of Christmas is her birthday. ha ha! I think that might have been the same nurse that Cim called "Tinkerbell" cuz she wore a Tinkerbell scrub one day. (Picture on left) Anyway... there were lots of tears and believe it or not good times... but I am just glad it is over and she is safe with us once more! Love you Cinnamon! We are all sooo lucky to have you in our lives!! You are a true blessing.